yeah im not done actually. perfectly white straight teeth are deeply weird and should not be considered some kind of ideal in any way. braces arent useless but they’re for cases where genuine harm or pain is being caused not just aesthetics. teeth whitening is fucking evil. crooked teeth, yellow teeth, chipped teeth, they’re all literally fine. your row of porcelain fucking tombstones make you look like a goddamn mannequin. if you’ve ever made fun of someone’s else’s teeth i hope reality fucking rejects your existence
She walked into my office with the swagger of a racecar pit crew boss. From her steel toed boots to her safety glasses, this dame was giving me forklift certified vibes strong enough to shake me loose from my classic depression laced with alcoholism.
her carabiner jingled with keys to four speakeasies, two u-hauls, and a thousand broken hearts.
When you are used to the no-nonsense, no-context approach of medieval Irish stories, trying to read Old Norse saga literature does feel kind of like you’re being told a medieval story by Uncle Colm from Derry Girls.
My brother’s girlfriend had HPV, so he went to get himself the HPV vaccine. There is a fee to pay (nothing much, something like €87) but it’s completely free if you’re in one of the “at risk” groups.
“What does that mean,” he asks. “It’s free if you’re gay,” he’s told. “Ah. Would I have to like, prove it, or…?” “Just put in a check mark here.”
My brother is in no way, shape or form attracted to men, but also he’s stingy as it gets. So now he’s officially gay. Congrats bro.
“Doctor, give it to me straight” “You sure, there’s a fee” “… Give it to me gay”
